A day I'll never forget.

December 05, 2012

It has been a hard couple of months. I got home super late the night before so, I really had a hard time getting up. When I finally rose, I did my usual routine. At around 6:30am, right as I finished breakfast, Mom called, "Say goodbye to Daddy." We sat around him, as he lay still, he can't speak anymore. He was coughing, looking at us with tearful eyes. I felt that the inevitable was coming. Mom, Pau and I prayed with him. Mom kept saying that we love him and it was okay to let go. We kept saying the same, too. When we finally finished. I went to my room, and suddenly felt too down to start getting ready for work. I texted that I will be on half-day instead.

After 20 or so minutes, Mom called again. This time, to me in particular. With just the sound of her voice, I knew that Dad was already gone.

The realization hit me as I held his hand. It was cold. It didn't respond. This was the same hand that I held on to as we crossed the street. Every single time. Even as I was already 21 then.

My dad was gone. The pain I felt as his passing dawned on me was unimaginable. I felt everything at once. Disbelief, anger, sadness, regret, and strangely, I felt peace.

The 5th of December of 2012 is a day that I'll never ever forget. My heart hurts every time I think of that day. Here I am, 2 years later, still with tears in my eyes as I type. It's hard to remember the day. What I'd like to do instead is remember the person.

My dad has always been my hero. I don't need anyone to validate that I have always been a Daddy's girl. As I was his only daughter. Every time I get into some trouble, I can always count on him to have my back. I pretty much idolized my dad when I was a little girl. My dad was far from perfect but for his children, he bent backwards.

Excerpt from "The One" by Keira Cass

I got married this year, and as my wedding date came nearer, I remember just being sooooo down. All girls have dreamed of their wedding. Mine was simple, I just wanted my mom and dad to walk me down the aisle. Don't get me wrong, my mom and brother did a splendid job but having Daddy with me is the dream.

Some girls want to be a princess, a star, the center of attention, on their wedding day. I just wanted to be Daddy's little girl for the last time. :) Never knew I would find the exact feeling I felt on my day months back on a book.


I miss my dad. Everyday. I have gone through a roller coaster ride of emotions with regards to his passing. I was filled with anger, sadness, regret, and depression for a time. Acceptance, has come now. I am grateful to have spent almost 22 years with him. I want to celebrate his life rather than mourn his death.

So, to my favorite Daddy, we miss you and you have never left our thoughts. Thank you for the love, the happiness and most especially the life you gave Pau and I. I love you, Daddy. I hope you are proud of the person Pau and I had become. Everything I do is for you, Mom, Pau, Eggy and Gio. :) I know you have Lolo Genio, Lolo Andy, and now, Tito Genny to keep you company till we're finally together again. Always keep an eye on Mom, Pau and Gio.

Sorry for the poor quality of the photo. I just got this off my old Blackberry.